Ashlee Simpson- My incessant ramblings that just stroll through my brain incessantly.

I'm moody because I am restless,

constantly looking for the next thing,

the new amusement of my life.

It is just as easy for me to lose interest as it is for me to become obssessed.

--

I indulge myself in what others don't appreciate.

Bad movies,

Old music,

Annoying people that won't leave you lone.

Simply because I am under appreciated.

People tend to take my advice, opinions, lifestyle, generosity, friendship, 

People tend to take me for granted. 

--

My music doesn't cut it for me anymore.

I keep listening to the same shit everyday and I cannot take it anymore.

I've known theses songs for years,

they have literally saved my life numerous times.

But I'm sick of it. 

I'm about as sick of Linkin' Park and Green Day and Sublime

I'm about as sick of music as I am of you.

--

I don't know what to do with myself anymore. 

I feel like a sitting duck. Waiting and waiting. But I don't know what to look out for.

And I really don't believe in waiting.

I'm a go-getter. Whatever that is.

But I got what I don't want and I cant get rid of it.

But I got you and I can't get rid of you.

--

I hate being poor.

Because to be honest, I wouldn't have minded going to private school,

having nice things that I don't need,

constantly going to the gym cause that's what people with money are obsessed with.

Losing weight they don't have. 

I mean I'm perfectly fine with my body and level of education,

But to have luxury would have been nice too.

And to travel. Thats the worst thing about being poor. It keeps you stuck in the same place for too long.

All you wanna do is move on up, but with no money,there are no opportunities.

No matter what they tell you in school.

I was promised a great future. Well I don't know where it is but it's not here.

And all I want to do is go to Ireland to work on  farm.

Go out to the midwest. Maybe Seattle.

I just wanna finish school. Publish a book. Get married and have kids.

And spend time on them. 

I prefer taking care of other people, as opposed to taking care of myself. 

--

Most girls can't accept that I wanna be a housewife.

They don't understand it I guess.

But feminism is about having a choice. 

Choosing to be a housewife doesn't men you don't believe in equality.

It just means you're not interested in having a career. 

Or a boss. 

And anyway. I'd work from home right? 

--

I thought about tagging you. 

But I forgot, you don't read. 

I always felt like telling you, HE would've done something that you wouldn't.

But it wouldn't be fair.

And I don't want HIM so why would I bother comparing you to something I don't want?

I thought about tagging you.

But I forgot you don't read.

If You Were Smart, Than Dunce Would not be Your Only Vocabulary Word

I'm afraid that my boyfriend is an idiot.
He tries, but to know avail.
And he's cute,
polite,
And amazing in bed but he's not smart and it's starting to really get to me.
What's worse is he thinks he's smart.
I'll admit he is pretty clever, which is probably why he thinks he's so smart.
But he's not at all an intellectual.
And  that's real smartness.
When you can not just read a book but actually comprehend and enjoy it.
All he reads are Yu-gi-oh! cards.
He thinks Obama is a good president, but he doesn't know why. His excuse is, "He's better than Bush."
And if he had truly been listening, we would have known that the words, "Bush is better than Obama," never escaped my lips.
And why would it?
Bush was a bad president too, no doubt.
But he likes Obama because Obama is black.
He likes Yu-gi-oh! because it is a nerdy game with strategy. It makes him feel smart, the same way being clever makes him feel smart.
But I need him to read a book. The newspaper. I need him to sit through an actual conversation where I don't have to pretend that I'm ghetto-fab.
Because my boyfriend is a first class idiot and idiots scare the hell out of me.

When you chase your own tail,
You end up biting your own ass.
Instead, keep your head forward,
Focused on the future.
Never dwell on the past.
Just use it as a mirror
To reflect your present.

Music, Sweet Music

There are bruises on my knees and paper confetti caked into my hair.
My wristband, neon green, is still tight on my wrist,
And the sweat.
The sweat is seeping from every fucking pore on my body.
It smells like the zoo. Pits and dreadlocks thrusting themselves in my face so the stenches sear my nostrils.
God, I've never been in an orgy before, but this must be pretty damn close.
I feel like an Ancient Roman yuppie.
I throw myself into the middle of the throng and let myself sway with the human waves to the shore.
The stage.
Slamming fists.
Banging heads.
Stomping feet.
I want to fuck this crowd.
The music.
I pour it over my body like water from a shower head.
This is too good for me, too much for me. But I need more before I collapse to the ground.

I Am A Rare Obscurity

I used to be inspired by Pluto because its planethood was stolen by some dumb scientists who were bored.
I would draw Pluto and his moon, Sharon. With beavers roaming around on its surface. I worte about Pluto and Sharon in poetry.
Now I feel like Pluto.
Stripped away from everything I thought I knew for the mere fact that I'm too small of a rock to be given a chance.

Sabotage

I don't enjoy hating who I am.
But sometimes confidence is
too expensive to buy. Wallow-
ing in the lack of self esteem
becomes easy with a telly, fatty
foods, and a sharpie to draw on
myself during commercials.